The Kindness We Don’t Talk About Because It Felt Too Small
Introduction
The small ways we show or receive kindness from others are often the things that change us more than what’s obvious or dramatic. A smile, a soft touch, or an offer of help are all examples of the little habits that will have a profound effect on you. In general, when we think about the acts of kindness that we give or receive, they may not seem very significant to us individually, but they are significant in how they connect us with one another. This blog will discuss how these small acts of kindness are often what hold us together as a community throughout each day.
The Assistance We Have Without Knowing
The majority of kindnesses that happen every day are so small that we don’t even realize they’re happening. Some examples are being allowed to pass by when someone is holding the door open, being walked slowly so you don’t feel left out and being guided in a direction when you are confused. These acts of kindness aren’t overtly apparent and don’t require the notice or acknowledgement of anyone else; they just help our day go a little better. And they are so insignificant that many people forget about them. However, those small acts of kindness empower us to have a greater sense of safety and support. In some instances, the most gentle form of help that we receive actually gains merit when we look back on it and think about how it made a difference for us. These small but meaningful acts of kindness provide the reminder that the world can often feel less intimidating than it actually is; often times, we are able to reflect on and appreciate the assistance that we were given, and now we value it. Unlike many grand acts of kindness that make loud impacts, sometimes kindness enters our lives quietly and adds to the overall mood or tone of the day.
Kindness Without Speaking Up
When someone refrains from saying something that might hurt or embarrass us, there is often a quiet kindness in their actions. For example, a friend may see that we have made a mistake, but they will choose not to bring it to our attention; a colleague may know that they could “call us out” in front of everyone, but instead of doing that, they give us a chance to admit and correct ourselves in private; and sometimes a stranger may see that we are uncomfortable, and they choose not to say anything in order to be “gentle.” Although these do not usually get any credit, because they are invisible acts, the “nothing” mentioned also signifies a high level of understanding about human vulnerability. Recognising when to hold back on saying something is harsh, unnecessary or inappropriate takes high awareness, empathy, and restraint. This is often an act of kindness that helps to protect an individual’s sense of dignity. These moments are powerful reminders that kindness is not always associated with our actions, but can also be represented by what we choose not to do.
How Creating Space for Others Creates Moments of Love
Creating space, whether it is through a physical presence, an emotional connection, or simply being able to share a conversation, can be a quiet way to express love. It is when someone creates a space for us by allowing us to speak without interrupting, when they give up their seat for us when we are tired or when they simply stand next to us without holding any expectations while we are feeling overwhelmed by the world around us. Although they do not say “I care for you” out loud with such gestures, they make us feel safe, accepted and that we belong. Creating space for someone means creating a space that does not attempt to change who they are. It says to someone, “You are welcome to take up space here,” and it is often not observed in our busy world filled with so many distractions, but it has the ability to change the way we live our lives. Many times, we do not need words to receive support from someone; we just need them to be able to step back enough for us to step forward or to wait until we find our own words.
The Little Things We Forget, But Are Important.
It’s amazing how someone remembers the little things about us—even the smallest details. It doesn’t matter if it’s a snack we like, how we prefer our tea, something we said in passing, or recently worried about. Those details may seem small to us; however, when someone holds onto those memories, we are essentially being seen through a loving lens by that person; it’s about seeing the small pieces that make up our total selves. When someone is able to recall these pieces at a later date shows that there is intention, care, and that the person is paying attention. We feel like we matter enough for someone to pay attention to us when we didn’t have any intention of being significant. Kindness, at those times, mirrors our underlying selves; it reflects the parts of us we didn’t know someone saw in us.
Conclusion
The most minor things we do for one another may have more impact than we recognize now or will appreciate at some later time in our lives. Although these acts of kindness may have seemed trivial at that time, they really help create something wonderful within our hearts, so to speak, and when we experience that feeling of softness coming from others, it is as if they showed us a form of charity without needing someone else to witness it. When we start paying closer attention to these small acts of kindness, we may notice that we are continually receiving this same form of support from those around us.
