The People We Outgrow While Still Caring for Them
Introduction
People are sometimes not lost, but rather we are growing past the type of person we were when we had a relationship with that person. This is not a dramatic or painful experience but rather a subtle change that over time becomes hard to overlook. We continue to care for someone and wish them the best; however, their closeness now feels a little awkward in comparison to what we once felt. These subtle changes can be frustrating and difficult to deal with, but they are a normal way of evolving and transitioning into who we need to be. This blog examines how we can gently transition out of relationships, and still love them and appreciate them as friends.
At a Certain Point, Familiar Connections Become Unfamiliar
No matter the state of your relationships, sooner or later those connections will change. Even though it seems as though they’ve not changed much, the way that enjoyed to have those connections with other people may start to feel different. While initially there was an ease in communication, over time it may take some time before you find the same rhythm you once shared with someone. What once was a comfort zone now seems like a void. No matter the reason, there is an understanding that both individuals in the relationship are heading in a different direction. Many times this occurs when both persons have different priorities, interests, or emotional needs than what they had when they were in the same relationship. Even though there continues to be affection for one another, many times people find themselves growing apart, thus losing that close connection. As we all know from our lives, this is an inevitability that should be accepted when it comes to our relationships with those we are closest to.
The Guilt of Growing Beyond Someone You Still Love
Feeling guilty about outgrowing someone you still love is a unique feeling. Guilt is typically defined as an emotion characterized by uncertainty and fear, which only gets worse when you start to wonder if you’re abandoning them or being selfish for growing without them. Growth frequently makes us go in many different directions from others who may not be growing or changing with us. Growing means you’re not necessarily going to love someone any less, but it is an indication of becoming someone unique and new. The reason we have this guilt from wanting to keep a relationship with someone we still care about is because we realize that we no longer fit together, and it is a continuous struggle to face this emotional conflict. Change is part of being human, and we are all allowed to grow, and making the best decision for both people may be to acknowledge that we naturally grow apart.
The New Role We Give Old Relationships
We usually think of our relationships with others as permanently ending when we change how we connect and relate to them – like friends who were once very close and supportive become more distant and less important over time. Sometimes this change will be very difficult for us to accept, and we can still have a great deal of love and affection for these people even though we may not feel as close to them anymore. The creation of a “new role” for someone represents acceptance of the changes that have happened within us and between us; therefore, it does not take away from the importance of that person to us. Instead, it acknowledges the fact that we have evolved, and have built a relationship that allows us to have a different type of connection to each other while maintaining our affection for each other from further away.”
Caring for Someone Who’s Not Around
There is a type of love that can still be felt across long distances. It allows for no “expectations,” “pressures” or for “constant contact.” Caring from a distance still allows us to hope for others’ happiness and to look back on positive memories, but does not create an overwhelming desire to keep them present in our lives anymore. It provides an inner peace with the idea that some people will come into our lives for a certain amount of time, only to be removed or replaced. It requires significant emotional growth by allowing ourselves to let go of past relationships without feeling bitter, and recognizes that through each experience we have learned lessons and those relationships are still today valuable. In fact, sometimes the best way to be there for someone is to wish them the best from a distance; they may never see or understand how far we are removed, but they will know we are sending all our love their way.
Conclusion
It doesn’t mean that when we grow apart from someone we no longer have any feelings for them, it just means that both of our lives have changed significantly and we didn’t plan on that. Growing apart from someone doesn’t represent a lack of love or failure it represents the natural progression of life as we continue to grow. We must come to a point in our lives where we honor both love and separation, allowing relationships to grow without guilt or bitterness. Sometimes the best goodbye is the one that is never actually said.
